I’ve smoked since 17, nowadays that’s quite late in life to start smoking, unfortunately I gave into peer pressure. I can admit that actually I only started smoking because I passed my driving test very quickly and was out driving with a group of new friends that were older than I and smoked aswell, I never thought I was the kind to allow peer pressure to crack me but when you are constantly offered something you get the question of maybe one won’t hurt. (Obviously I’m not stupid enough to crack under peer pressure when it comes to cold hard drugs or criminal activity but a cheeky ciggy is a bit different)
Both my parents and grandparents have smoked in the past and given up, so it’s not like I was unaware of it and I will always remember a conversation with my Nanny Apple who has quit smoking for something like 30 years now… even to this day she still wants one.
I gave up smoking when I found out I was pregnant with the terror, it was easy then, it was a driving force to giving up, I knew I had to do the best by my baby and that meant quitting. He was born, six weeks after I was breastfeeding and was having a lot of difficulties with it, his father was so unsupportive of breastfeeding and after six weeks of sly comments and remarks I was close to stopping but I really wanted to do it and until I sat crying through an entire feed I cracked, I seen the tobacco on the side I rolled a fag and in that first inhalation I decided to quit breastfeeding and start smoking again. I still loathe myself to this day for letting his fathers comments get to me when I was under pressure and to giving in to my own wants.
A year or so later I met Tom I was still smoking and he had quit the summer before, he had done so well! And I slowly began to cut down mostly because he didn’t come out for a fag with me, so I just wouldn’t go and then in the new years I decided maybe I can give this a go, no pressure, no one telling me I had to, it was my own decision.
It’s been 5 months now. I won’t lie I have given in a couple time but I don’t own any lighters I don’t have any tobacco or straights, and I refuse to go out and buy any- the new smoking law has really helped this because I can’t easily access a pack of ten or 10g of backy and I refuse to buy anything any bigger. I’m proud of myself for getting this far even with the odd slip up.
I feel healthier in myself, I’m not as lethargic, my asthma has improved massively!
Yes I do still want a fag and maybe that will never go away but I know I don’t need one. I think once you get to the point of not needing one and knowing that actually your okay, you can take it step by step from there.
My advice to any smokers, do not quit if you are not ready. You will only fail and be more disappointed in yourself. Do it in your own time and don’t put too much pressure on your self if you slip up once or twice.