Hearing the worst

I’m rarely ill or injured, I’m not one of these people that pick up every bug going, I’ve never broken a bone, I like to think in those circumstances I’m very lucky. 

However back in January I collapsed, the pain I experienced was excruciating I was home alone when Lincoln and I were living in the flat and I had a bit of pain in my side. I totally ignored it put it down to the monthly coming along twenty minutes later I was in so much pain I could barely move, went to go and lay down in bed, next thing you know I’m staring at the ceiling with Lincoln stood over me. After ringing an ambulance and my mum I eventually went in to hospital with suspected appendicitis, I was given morphine had an ultrasound and instead they found a cyst. On my ovary. Great. After an over night stay lots of fluids and morphine I was allowed home and told I would have a follow up appointment in 6 weeks for another ultrasound. 

Six weeks came and went with no sign of an appointment being made and if I’m honest I wasn’t in any pain anymore everything was working as it should so I kind of forgot. Until I registered at my new doctors where they questioned why there was no follow up and so they scheduled another ultrasound just to be on the safe side. 

Today I had that ultrasound and it turns out I now have two very large cysts on my right ovary. No explanation as to what they are or whether they will go away. Instead I am left in limbo. Until I receive another appointment to meet the gynaecologist. Back in January there was even talk of ovary removal and as soon as the technician said the cyst was bigger than the last time and there was another my heart sank, the worst ran through my mind. What if I can’t have any more children? What if it’s cancer? 

So today I have been a tearful mess thinking of the worst and doing the worst by googling everything. I swear to god I should be put on a 72 hour ban from google if anything even remotely bad happens to me. 

Tom has been mega supportive and really is my back bone when I’m weak, Lincoln has been Lincoln and the dog hasn’t left my side. 

So now we wait and see what the doctors have to say, has anyone else experienced this? 

LeahJade xoxo 

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