As you can see Lincoln is a regular tantrum thrower, has been for the past couple months. But it wasn’t until I was in Asda the other day without Lincoln and a middle aged woman was stood in the queue behind me talking to her friend about the child in the row over us who was quite clearly having a tantrum over the fact he wasn’t allowed any sweets. I’ve been there, I knew she could feel the eyes on her and her child. It got me thinking to all the tantrums Lincoln has had in public and I really felt for her. I could of happily told those women to shut the f*ck up or smacked them with my french baguette but I kept quiet.
‘Here we go!’ ‘Really Lincoln? Another Bitchfit’ These are just some of the things I say on a regular basis. I can actually pinpoint the exact moment the tantrum is beginning, prepare everyone and take a seat and watch the explosion continue.
We’ve got to a stage now where it starts with the whine that is then accompanied by the foot stomping, at this point he’s usually thrown himself on the floor arms and legs flinging in all directions, If this doesn’t gauge enough attention he gets back up and will find something he can throw or hit, whether its a toy a teddy, his fork or my most recent favorite has to be his attempt at moving the dining room table. Now 9 times out of 10 his tantrums are totally over exaggerated and unnecessary because he can’t do something or isn’t allowed something. The conversation usually goes “Lincoln, we both know your not allowed Ice cream for breakfast so I don’t know why your stood at the freezer” <insert tantrum here> Tantrum ends, he says sorry gives me a kiss and cuddle takes the bowl of cereal and goes and eats his breakfast.
I’ve had people ask me whilst in the shop ‘Aren’t you going to do anything about him?’ or the dirty looks along with the muttered ‘urgh parenting these days’
Several times I have wanted to turn around and tell them that actually ‘Doris’ I am doing something about it, I am letting him express whatever it is he feels he needs to express, letting him get it out of his system and return to the happy cheeky chap that he is and in the meantime I will get out the firing line because as small as a toddler looks a flying headbutt to the chin is not pleasant. Or that actually if they feel they can parent MY child better than I can they can feel free to shove their dirty looks and their unwanted advice where the sun doesn’t shine.
Yes it is embarrassing. Not because he’s having a BF over the fact I wont let him lick the filthy trolley handle but because so many people are judging you on your parenting.
As much as I may have a moan and groan about Lincoln being naughty or a terror but he’s young, he’s a boy they do these things. He’s actually well behaved, and majority of the time he does as he is told. He might not be happy about it but he does it. And when he does get told off or spends a bit of time on the naughty step he will always apologize and always gives you a kiss and a cuddle. He will always say Please and Thank you or ‘Ta’. As far as I am concerned manners and politeness mean more than the odd temper tantrum, at least he will grow out of those. People don’t grow in to manners.
Why should I risk a foot in the jaw to attempt to restrain him from having these tantrums just to please other people.
Why should I teach my child that it is wrong to express how he feels? At under two he can’t tell me exactly why he’s upset, he can’t express his emotions in any other way right now he can barely tell me when he needs a wee for Christ sake. So the way I see it. You let them fit it out, then explain to them why they can’t do such thing. At this point he’s usually forgot what ever it was he wanted and moves on.
I’m sure other people do it differently, maybe they tell their child off for throwing a paddy? maybe they don’t. But why should it matter to anyone else other than the parents? They are doing what works for them and their child. So why bother commenting? why give unwanted advice?
Unless the tantrum they throw has some form of physical effect on you or your children so people need to stop throwing judgement. Stop looking at the child and the parent and get on with whatever the hell it was your doing.
Any of you have any tantrum stories? Received any unsolicited advice on your children’s behavior? or do you totally disagree and think all tantrums should be squashed immediately?